Everywhere is Home

I'm sitting in Atlanta waiting for my plane and I look around and see so many beautiful people. I've spent so much time behind the closed doors of the military training lifestyle that I begin to forget not only what it feels like to be a civilian, but also what a civilian looks like. I've spent several months trying to get used to the "hurry up and wait" lifestyle, that I don't even know what it's like to really relax.

I am headed home so that I can spend forty-eight hours with my family and just feel the presence of love the way that it was. The life of a soldier is not a bad one. It instills discipline, teaches punctuality, and even delivers a strong sense of accomplishment. As a soldier I can see the appreciation of passing individuals when I make eye contact, and that alone means a lot. When someone thanks me, it's breathtaking.

I remember when I began this adventure, I decided that I wanted to do something with my life that was of value. I wanted to make a difference in the world. I haven't actually done anything for America's citizens and I am still graced with the reward of appreciation from them. I remember when I used to see soldiers, I always felt compelled to thank them, because I appreciate what service men and women do. Now it's the shoe is on the other foot. I step outside of a controlled environment and I see all of these wonderful people who are going about their lives and can do it without worrying about going to war. I'm so happy that we can provide that for them.

I'm writing this because I want you to know that I thank you American public. In the same way that a soldier can uplift you, you uplift soldiers. I am motivated by being in your presence and it makes it easy for me to see why I wear this uniform. You give me comfort in being deployed, that my pain and suffering may be for your good, and that is something worth putting my life on the line for.

Part Time Love

Every week I walk out of church feeling as though this week everything is going to be different; that no matter how difficult and frustrating life gets, I will remain slow to anger and prevent my tongue from breaking spirits.
Every week I make it roughly four and half days before all of the frustration comes out in a flurry of sarcasm and hurtful wit. At the end of those first four days I look back and think that Jesus would be satisfied with my love toward those around me. Now, at the end of the fifth day I have to sit down and really consider all of the words that I chose to use to those who frustrate, harass, and annoy me. I then think about my Jesus and what he gave so that I could live.
I would never expect to think about something so beautiful and feel so loved at a time of self disappointment, but I do. In those moments that I think that God is displeased with my behavior I realize that I am forgiven. I need His grace because I could never do anything on any day that could make Him love me less.
Whether it's Sunday and I'm singing His praises, or it's Friday and I want to strangle those around me, the truth is that God loves us the same, and knows that our hearts long for Him. As long as we are convicted and keep ourselves and our Christian siblings accountable, God will see that we crave Him.