Here and Gone

I don't think I could ever begin to explain why people come in and out of our lives the way that they do, but I think that if we knew the purpose for our acquaintances, then it their impact wouldn't be nearly as big.

I've met a lot of wonderful and not so wonderful people in the last ten months of my life, but they all have something in common. They have all taught me a lesson, or have aided me in becoming a better man of God.

First, there are those who tested my patience and caused me a great deal of annoyance and anger. These are people who, day in and day out, would give me thoughts of violence and the feeling that my head would explode because of their behavior. I was surrounded mostly by these individuals and this is where my journey toward being a better, more patient man began. I had to remind myself, time and time again to avoid a personal quarrel with them because we are instructed to do so by God. Even though I failed to avoid altercations quite miserably at times, my conscience would always come around and guide me to prevent it and in most cases apologize for the things I may have said. It's amazing how the negative people in our lives can have an affect on us that is so positive and groundbreaking. I credit these people for my patience during times of great stress.

Next are those whom have helped to guide me and have taken care of me both physically and spiritually. Finding a church on my own for the first time is something that I thought would be difficult, but God directed my path and on the first try, He led me to place where His spirit was very thick and easy to feel. I was so fortunate to have so many strangers take me in so immediately. This family that I was adopted into is the group of people that reinforced my patience and kept me accountable for my actions and feelings. It is with the moral support of these individuals that I was able to drive on and complete my task at hand. It would have been so easy to become stagnant in my faith and make no attempt to find a church, but I did, and for that God awarded me the privilege of knowing people who shared His love with me.

These people have come and gone from my life with the exception of a few contacts, and I plan to go back and visit these people someday. Regardless, I am writing this more specifically to thank God for the people he puts in my life, whether they frustrate me or show me compassion. I know that He will continue to bless my path and hopefully someday I will again see this family that was so kind to me. Without the love and support of my brothers and sisters in Christ, I would not be so successful as I have been and for that I am eternally grateful. I pray that our paths cross again someday.

Wheel

I talked to a friend tonight that I haven't talked to in a long time. We've exchanged greetings every now and again, but this was the first real conversation we've had in over half a year. When we parted ways six months ago, it was in turmoil and heartbreak, and I suffered from a pain that I had never experienced before. So, here I am, six months down the road and I still think about it all the time. On this day, she calls. It's incredible how six months doesn't necessarily heal anything, but instead makes us realize that living in pain isn't possible.

The entire time I'm here I believe that it just isn't possible that after all that had happened, there is no way she would want to talk to me, or even thinks of me anymore. After three hours of catching up and confiding in one another, I came to realize that I am not the only one that is suffering from these feelings. It was the best 195 minute trip down memory lane that I could have possibly had. To hear the words, "I miss you too", was nothing short of breathtaking. It was in this moment that I realized that suffering from a loss eats away our hearts and convinces us that hope will never come, but that's only when we suffer alone. Just knowing that someone else is searching for closure and answers makes a world of difference. After all of the past arguments, and regret, and pain, everything is finally coming full circle.

The girl that was just a girl, became my friend, that became my girlfriend, that I had planned on marrying; became my ex-girlfriend, that became my enemy, that became an acquaintance, that is now my friend. Just when I thought our journey was over, it seems that we find ourselves back at the start. That's the way this wheel keeps turning.